Who Does the Dishes?

Who does the dishes at your house??? Did you even know this could be a problem before you got married? If you did, good for you! I definitely did not. I just never thought about it. Imagine my surprise when I found out that my wife did not intend to do all the dishes by herself all the days of our marriage!

Of course, now it makes sense. But I thought we would divide our duties and that would be that. Now, however, I know real life happens, and sometimes, each of us needs help with our responsibilities. Here’s how we discovered the problem:

My wife and I had been married approximately 10 days when I came home from work to a delicious dinner. We ate, and I told her it was amazing. Then, I excused myself and left the room to read the latest issue of my favorite golf magazine. I sensed that my wife was upset about something but thought it best to broach the subject after she had cleaned the kitchen. Little did I know that the messy kitchen was the source of the problem.

When I brought up her sour mood after she had cleaned the kitchen, I learned, through an explosion of anger and tears, that she was mad about the dishes. She had washed every dish since we had been married, and she was already tired of it (looking back now, I don’t blame her at all!). However, the problem wasn’t that easy to solve. I was stubborn and felt like mowing the yard and fixing things around the house were “man’s work” and should be my only household duties. Never did I realize that cooking, cleaning, and laundry were never ending jobs that could make a girl feel buried under an avalanche.

The conclusion:
I began helping Ellie do the dishes each evening after dinner unless the yard needed mowed or I had an urgent house project that needed attention. This has created much more peace in our household, and I appreciate the work Ellie does more now than ever. Even though I help with the evening dishes, I have learned that there are many other tasks Ellie does amazingly without complaining. Ellie also helps me with house projects or mowing when I need a hand. In the end, we’ve both found that sharing the workload make dreaded tasks enjoyable, and it helps to take the pressure off of both of us.